Balochistan is unarguably one of the most fascinating, historically rich places in Pakistan. The Baloch culture dates back centuries, and is host to some of the most colorful and engaging customs and activities in Pakistan. The natives are known to be very welcoming and have fascinating lifestyles, which mainly stem from their ancestral beliefs – these beliefs have been passed down through generations, and a lot of them still act as a foundation for nearly everything they do.
One event, or rather a series of events that veraciously characterizes the Baloch culture is an authentic tribal wedding. The wedding system of the Balochi community, specifically in Balochistan, is slightly more complex than it is in other regions of the country. The celebration comprises of a few weeks’ worth of events that are carefully planned out and systematically followed, down to the very last detail.
Based heavily on desi cultural norms, the bride is carefully chosen by the groom’s family. After they’ve extended a proposal, they must wait for the bride’s family to respond. The bride’s family makes this decision based on recommendations from close friends and members of the extended family. This event is locally known as Zamati, and if the response is positive, the girl is presented with gifts from her future in-laws, including a symbolic red scarf.
The next step is the engagement, or Habar-Bandi. The word Habar refers to decision making, and bandi means to tie. At this stage, the date of the engagement and dower is fixed; in Baloch culture, dowry is given to both the bride and groom. This is discussed beforehand so that any potential quarrels regarding legal matters can be avoided later, and all obligations are taken care of before anything is made official. If, at this stage, either party refuses to accept any terms, they may not proceed with the wedding; the relationship is then dismissed.
For these weddings, benefaction is considered a vital part of the process. The gifts presented to both sides aren’t what you’d expect; however, they are still of utmost value to the receivers. These presents may include money, but that’s only a small part of the range of offerings presented to each side before the wedding, including rice, cattle and assorted crops; these offerings can even be used in the ceremony itself, and is often considered aid.
Before the main ceremony takes place, there are a lot of obligations that both sides must fulfill, most of which are designed for the bride’s side of the family. Most of these formalities require the girl to be present, and the groom is not allowed to take part, or even meet his future bride before the actual wedding day.
Tying the Curtain (Jol Bandi)
This is the first of the actual wedding ceremonies, a formal beginning of the ritual. It’s held at the home of the bride, and involves no men. It includes the Sargwap, an expert beautician who stays with the bride until her wedding day, and is responsible for making her look the best she can. The Sargwap uses natural methods, like making herbal mixtures, to enhance the skin and overall beauty of the bride. The actual Jol Bandi begins when women from the groom’s family visit the bride to tie the hand embroidered Jol they bring with them. This is also where the bride receives sweets, a doochi (embroidered) dress and chador.
In the same location where the Jol was previously tied, the bride’s friends, family and other relatives gather to traditionally scent the bride’s clothes. This event is also an excuse to show off the bride’s beautiful doochi dresses to everyone. This display includes jewelry and other accessories that the bride has been given as well, either as jahez (dowry) or as a gift by the groom’s family.
While this activity may not take place at a grand scale, it is quite fun for the bride’s close female friends and relatives to participate in. There is singing, dhol and decoration of trays using Hinna prepared by the groom’s family for the bride. This is also where the groom finally meets his in-laws, and the bride’s sisters are formally introduced to him. This ritual includes the sisters applying henna to the groom’s right hand pinky, and the groom is also obligated to present gifts to the bride’s sisters according to whatever he can afford.
The Mandhi is a day enjoyed by families of both sides, and is something the groom can fully participate in as well. This, of course, is the final day of the festivities, and is also when the most major events of the entire wedding take place. The music night or mahfil also takes place at this stage, which is a gathering for all the men involved in the event.
Finally, the nikkah takes place with consent from both the bride and the groom, according to the laws of Islam. There’s no strict rule about when it has to be performed, though a lot of families choose to do it during daytime; it can be before or after the grand banquet. This can be seen as the first phase of the baraat, and is followed by mubaraki, a practice where the family of the groom visits the bride’s home with even more gifts, for the first time as her official in-laws. The final event is the valima, where the couple is now invited by the groom’s parents for one final feast before the bride moves into the groom’s home. The marriage is now official.
This extensive, yet absorbing range of activities might leave everyone involved somewhat exhausted, but it remains to be the most unique expression of the cultural intricacies of one of the largest regional communities in Pakistan.
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